I was a young man. My wife and I had been married six years. We were the proud parents of two children. Squints was 5 and Flicka she was 2. Our visions of a family of six had always occupied my wife and my conversation since where where 17 and 16. I know I know I am sure there was more to talk about as teenagers. But our future family has always been a part of our lives.
After having tried and tried for 2 years with out success to become pregnant after Flicka. My wife became very discouraged. We had always had difficulty getting pregnant. Finally the time came that we went to see a doctor.
As we visited with the doctor. He informed us that checking where the "PROBLEM" was consisted of a long process of tests and checks and that he always started with the man. Humpf the man!! Like I had the problem. My boys were strong, as strong as Alaskan Salmon. Well so I thought. Then he handed me a cup. A cup? I looked at him confused as I thought that the cup was just a made up story...It is not. I waited and thought ohhhhhh.... He is serious. So I grabbed the cup and waited for the magazine. Well to my surprise the magazine is a prop of a SNL sketch. Who would of thought.
The nurse informed me that I had a half hour to bring back the cup and if home was to far away well there was a bathroom down the hall. On the spot processing what has this world come to? I judged the time to go home process and get back. I hung my head and headed to the bathroom.
Skip to next scene. Sorry!
We where called back the next week. To talk to the doctor about his findings. As we came in to his office he stood up pointed at me and just laughed and laughed and laughed. Well not really but I felt the same way after he told me that my boys don't swim! They don't even move. Wow, what a hit. Not only were we told we could not have children I was told it was my fault. There was no need to check my wife...since I was the culprit.
ME the man! I was suppose to be the producer of male children and girls as well. I just took a hit to my male ego. I was out for the count. The dreams that my wife and I had about our large family (six kids, 3 boys 3 girl, a set of twins and our baby boy caboose) were shattered. Gone and not in reach. What could we do but walk out to the car and cry!
Thanks for sharing my adoption journeys,
Jared
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the Wife's Weigh-in
ReplyDeleteWow, nothing like putting it all out there on the table....if my sweet husband is going to make our life an open book I figured I should at least throw my 2cents in.
It was heartbreaking. I still remember a conversation I had shortly after finding out that we would not be producing anymore children. Someone said "Well, just be glad you have two and leave it at that." I was first flooded with anger at the insensivity and then guilt that maybe I shouldn't be upset after--all I did have two, I should just count my blessings and walk a way with a smile.
But this was our dream.....a big family....so I was heartbroken, but not devestated...unlike Jared....I always knew adoption would be a part of our lives.